Reminiscence
by Katlana Child
Summary: He remembered seeing her face, emotionless. Her eyes were closed and her mouth didn't form into that smile that he loved so much. She was gone.


**The ideas I get when I stare at a wall is just appalling. :) So yeah, apparently I was really depressed today and (I saw the reviews. Hehe, thanks guys!) I decided to write this. Like I said, I had to stare down a wall first, but in my opinion, it's one of my best short stories. It's mostly inspired by my best guy friend. Well, he doesn't think we're best friends, but I connect pretty well with him and truthfully? I love talking to him every day, despite the fact I feel like an idiot. *hangs head in shame***

**PLEASE READ: There is mention of suicide in here. I do not mean to offend anyone with a close friend or family member that has committed suicide. I've never had the experience, but when I was little, about five, my life was really stressful. And I seriously mean very stressful. I was bullied, I was depressed, and I just wasn't normal. (Haha, time to pour out some of my soul, right?) Well, I went to therapy twice and I'm finally myself again, but it took some healing time. You might be wondering why I'm relating this to suicide, or maybe you've caught on already. If not, I started to consider suicide at a very young age. It's one of the few things I rarely tell people when I meet them. But since no one I knows reads these boards that has connection with my friends and family, I think I am safe to speak these things. Besides, I consider all of you guys friends. Anyway, let me hop onto a different subject for a few seconds.**

**So, this story is before Blaise came into the picture, mostly because I'm still not sure who she is. And I'm sorry if this story makes you depressed. It did make me a little depressed just to write it. I thought, you know, since Because of You had _that_ ending, I might as well make a more serious story. Yes. What you see below is the entire story. There will not be anything more added to it.**

**On a happier note! I have another question for all of y'all to answer! It's a good one, in my opinion. If you could meet anyone 2 people from Cause of Death (excluding Mal and Natara...sorry...but if you want, you can add them to your list, but give me a good reason) to meet in real life, who would it be?**

**Of course I would chose Mal and Nat because Mal is hilarious and I love funny people and Natara is a good woman idol. Just saying. I know those aren't great reasons, so I guess you can put them both down and then two more.**

**As for my other two, definitely Kai Kalaba (LOVE HIM!) and...ooh, this one is hard. I wouldn't want to meet any of the killers for sure. But I would also like to meet technically any other super hot guy that's in there, but most likely Jacob Fallon because he is just awesome like that! (I don't find him attractive in anyway!) **

**I did it again! I rambled on! Anywho, here's the story. Read? Review? (And once again, thanks for all the reviews! :3 ) ((Also, there might be another story with the same name. Apologies!))**

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><p>Reminiscence<p>

He remembered the day he met her. It seemed like years ago, when really it was just a year.

He remembered the day her boyfriend arrived at the SFPD and he just _had_ to pick on him out of jealousy.

He remembered the night he killed him in front of her. He couldn't endure the pain that he caused her and cursed every night for his stupidity.

He remembered the day Oscar came into the picture. He hated him. Well, not entirely. Oscar was hard-working and a good man, but he didn't want him to be with her.

He remembered the night he almost risked life in prison in order to save her because she was really worth _anything_.

Then they broke up. He didn't know until a few days later. She seemed so depressed, but tried to keep happy.

He remembered those few days they spent together as _Charles and Claudette Waldencrest_ in order to complete a case. It all felt so real...so right to him. She was perfect in every way.

Then he remembered that one night that ruined everything. He remembered her blood seeping through his fingers. He remembered her scrunching her face up every time a wave of pain hit her. The bullet had totally penetrated her abdomen. But he held her close and whispered reassuring thoughts into her ear. He held her hand on the ambulance ride. He even hummed a song to her when she started crying out in one of her nightmares. All the while, she had no clue.

He remembered her waking up for that short hour, telling him that he was her best friend in the entire world and reassuring _him_ this time that things always had a way of working out.

Of course, then, she didn't know she was dying. Or maybe she did and she acted as if she wasn't. Either way, Mal almost killed himself trying to find the answer.

He remembered the dreaded sound of the flat-line and the doctors talking, but their voices hardly audible. He was in pure shock. She wasn't supposed to die!

He remembered that for the longest time, he dreaded seeing her for the funeral. But he had to go. Ken forced a suit on him and dragged him to the cemetery. That night of when she was shot pounded in his head as he took a step closer to the casket. He feared seeing her face. He couldn't relive all that pain.

He remembered seeing her face, emotionless. Her eyes were closed and her mouth didn't form into that smile that he loved so much. She was _gone_.

He remembered that he cried himself to sleep that night. He had called in sick the next morning, when everyone really knew he was grieving beyond a healthy measure.

They stopped by, asking if he needed some company or assistance. He didn't want anything from them. He wasn't exactly rude to them, but he did decline.

He remembered that one night he tried to take his own life out of intense depression. He held the gun firmly in his hand, ready to shoot. It was on Safety. He felt as if _she_ had a part in this. Then, he thought she wouldn't want to see him like this; doing absolutely nothing for a few days at a time. She would say he was greater than that. She _knew _he was greater than that. He set the gun on his dresser and went to bed.

He remembered that the next morning, he went back to work. The captain almost refused to bring him back after recent events, but he put on his best smile and told her things had changed. But they hadn't. He missed her so much. Interrogating wasn't the same without her. Laughing wasn't the same; even cracking jokes wasn't the same.

There were few things Mal Fallon could come to accept. One thing he would never accept, ever, was the fact that his best friend, his partner, and the love of his life, Natara Williams, was _dead_.


End file.
